


Peter Montana : A Superfamily Spideypool !highschoolAU

by jjournal



Category: superfamily - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, M/M, Spideypool - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-01
Updated: 2012-11-19
Packaged: 2017-11-19 01:56:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/567760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jjournal/pseuds/jjournal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Steve is a fireman, Tony owns a big techno company, and Wade tricks Peter into dating him - sort of.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Smelly Jocks

Peter wasn’t a big smelly jock. But he wasn’t at the bottom of the food chain either. He had a spot on the basketball team and made time for his Chemistry homework.

 

Sometimes, he would join the photography classes that ran afterschool. His unruly head of messy brown hair and the fact that his father picked him up in a motorcycle some days gave him a couple more points in the cool-o-meter. So he was good really. 

 

He also had a couple of close friends he could count on, like Flash and Harry. And he was pretty sure that girl MJ was playing some sort of hard-to-get game with him.

 

“Parker! Eye on the ball.” The coach called out pointing to the teammate who wanted to pass the ball to him.

 

Peter nodded and twisted round to move away from some annoyingly tall person to open himself for the ball. Unfortunately, as he turned around, he ended up facing  _another_ opposing player and nearly ran headlong into them.

 

“Watch where you’re going, Parker.” Wade said smirking, and holding the ball he was going after.

 

Wade Wilson. Peter didn’t think he’d know his name if he wasn’t the next door neighbor that sometimes kept him up nights blasting loud music from his room. Whenever that happened, he’d mutter Wade’s name under his breath like an insult.

 

Whether or not Wade was his neighbor or not, everyone knew how annoying the kid was. Granted, he was their age, but sometimes he’d act a couple of years younger – throwing spitballs and singing at the top of his voice whenever it struck his fancy. He also seemed to be a thousand times clumsier than a normal person; he probably had enough scars on his body to play connect the dots with. Luckily though, he hasn’t tried to sharpen a knife with his face yet, but it was about time really.

 

Peter stared at the new cut that extended from Wade’s elbow to his thumb and then made a lunge for the ball Wade was holding loosely. He fumbled with it, amazed that he had gotten it so easily before dribbling it away from Wilson to pass it to a teammate.

 

He thought he heard Wade yell something and then the coach whistled and screamed: “LANGUAGE!”

 

____ 

 

 

Peter scaled the wall carefully. He didn’t want to wake his Dads and alert them to his late arrival. His hand reached up to the next wooden plank and it shook dangerously. He quickly put his hand back down and tried for another plank. It was steady and he let out a breath of relief. He climbed the rest of the way carefully to the little balcony to his window. Slowly, he tried pulling up the window -but it didn’t budge.

 

Uh… This isn’t good.

 

He tried pulling it up with greater force and only ended up nearly ripping out one of his finger nails.

 

“The window is locked you idiot.” Wade’s voice carried out from his perch on his even smaller balcony.

 

“Shh!” Peter replied looking up to his Dads window to check if the light was turned on at the noise. If his Dads caught him sneaking out again, it would probably be the last straw. He’d lose all his privileges and probably end up as their personal maid.

 

Wade just smiled mischievously in reply and said, even louder this time, “So who was the pretty girl you snuck out for?”

 

Peter heard the horrifying sound of his parents shuffling in bed and then the click of the night light. They may have not heard what Wade was yelling about, but they certainly would try to find out now that he had woken them from their slumber. Peter had to think quickly. Running his hand through his hair, he leaned casually on the railings of his balcony to face Wade.

 

Tony’s annoyed face appeared from his window. “What are you yelling about kid?!” Peter looked up and could almost make out the shadow of Pops hand resting on Tony’s shoulder in an effort to calm him down.

 

Wade opened his mouth - but Peter beat him to it. “Sorry Dad! I was just asking Wade something.”

 

Tony looked down, noticing Peter was also outside. “And you couldn’t use your cellphone?”

 

Peter hesitated which left room for Wade to butt in.

 

“Well, he wanted to do it in person Mr.Stark.” Wade replied, polite as Peter has ever heard him be - ever.

 

Tony looked confused before a knowing look came over his face and he turned to Steve to smile over something. Peter furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. He knew Wade was the weird kid who could manipulate people easily, but he didn’t think it would be /that/ easy. Tony’s reply though, cancelled out all his confusion when he went, “Right. We’ll just leave you two love birds alone then.”

 

Peter felt his eyes widen and his cheeks flush and Wade  _Wade Wilson_  just smiled shyly in response - acting the part like a pro. He had to give the kid credit, he really was a mastermind in his trouble making ways - even though he kind of wanted to punch him for ever putting the idea that the two were dating in his Dads heads. The interrogation about the topic the next morning would be brutal. He can just feel it.

 

“Dad!” Peter said quickly, “I accidentally locked the window coming out here…”

 

Once he was back in his room with the curtains drawn, he pulled out his cellphone to text Wade. His phone autocorrect his message to:

 

_Waffle! You have no idea how much damage control I have to do now  -PP_

 

_Sorry Waffle is not available at the moment. But Wade can take the call. He can also take a thank you. - WW_

_thanks waffle. -PP_

_Noooo. - WW_

_can I get another nickname. -WW_

_it’s not fair that my nickname is based on an autocorrect mistake! -WW_

_peter!!! -WW_

_honeyboo? - WW_

_we are not actually dating. So don’t call me that. -PP_

_:( you make me very sad. -WW_

_you make me very angry. - PP_

_a match made in heaven! - WW_

_Peter? - WW_

_okay, good night. -WW_

_honeybooty. - WW_

_> :( -PP_

_good night waffle. I owe you one. - PP_

 

Peter shut his phone after that and rolled over to his side to finally go to sleep.

 

He woke up to sound of someone knocking loudly at his door.

 

“Wake up Peter!” Steve yelled, he was probably considering tearing the door down.

 

Peter sighed to squint at the alarm clock on his bedside table. 9.00 am shone back at him in bright red.

  
“IT’S A SATURDAY!” He yelled back frustratingly kicking his covers off when the knocking didn’t stop. 

 

“You have a guest over.” Steve replied after about ten more knocks. “Brush your teeth then come downstairs.”

 

A guest? He sat up to rub at his eyes. Who would come over at 9 in the morning on a freaking Saturday?

 

Stretching, he moved to the bottom of his bed, where his phone was balanced precariously at the end.

 

_Your dad would’ve seen through the lie, I had to! Make it seem real I mean. You’ll find out soon I guess. – WW_

_Sorry. – WW_

 

Wade.

 

Wait, was he apologizing for waking me up so early? That didn’t settle right. He shrugged and walked to the bathroom, at least the mystery of who was waiting downstairs was solved. He sighed again imagining his Dads hovering around in the background to take a closer look at their interaction.

 

Finally ready, Peter walked downstairs to the kitchen and found a red haired girl sitting at the island with her back turned to him. What was MJ doing here?

 

Pops was at the sink rinsing his cup while Dad was staring at the coffee machine, possibly willing it to work faster.

 

“MJ?”

 

She turned around in her chair.

 

“Peter.” Her usual cheery face was gone and a passive aggressive look seemed to take over his face. She slid off the chair, “Can we talk outside?”

 

“Uh… sure.” Peter tried to smile and followed her out. He thought he caught his Dads give each other a look.

 

MJ turned sharply to face him once they were out on the porch. “I thought we had a good time yesterday.”

 

“We did! Why would you think we didn’t?” He felt his eyebrows furrow.

 

MJ frowned and her eyebrows angled downwards – the way they always did when she was really angry. “I’m not stupid, Peter. I was your friend. If you needed a beard you could have just asked me- instead of kissing me!” Her voiced cracked at the end horrifyingly.

 

Peter scratched at his none existent beard wondering wha—-.  _Wade_.

 

He reached for her shoulders, “It’s not how it looks.”

 

MJ just shook her head and moved out of his way.

 

“Why would you do that, Peter? Are you worried about your Dads knowing?” She laughed as her eyes teared up a little. “I mean, that would be the funniest thing I would have ever heard. But in line with my life story.”

 

Peter was going to reply but instead swallowed thickly when he thought she might start crying.

 

She wiped furiously at her none existent tears. “But whatever, Peter. I couldn’t care less about who you wanted to date – but you can cross  _me_  out!” And with that she turned around and started walking away.

 

Peter was at a loss of words before he let anger wash over him and he turned to go back into the house, slamming the front door behind me.

 

_Fucking Wade._

_Sorry? Ha! He’s going to find out exactly how sorry feels._

He didn’t remember slamming the door to his room, but he must have because soon enough, there was a knock at his door.

 

“Hey Pete, it’s Dad. I just want to talk.” Tony started saying from the other side of the door while he drummed his fingers on the door.

 

“Come in.” Peter replied begrudgingly lifting his head from his bed.

 

Tony walked in smiling and put an arm around Peter’s shoulders. “Wanna tell me what that was about?”

 

Peter sighed. It wasn’t like he could tell him  _exactly_ what it was about. “MJ was pissed at me.”

 

Tony laughed, “Yeah, I gathered as much.”

 

“I- “ Peter decided to follow through with his lie since the truth wasn’t an option anymore. “Well, I led her to believe something that wasn’t true.”

 

Tony sighed. “Well… You know why that’s wrong now right?”

 

“Yeah.” I picked at the bedding.

 

“Good enough.” Tony sat up and patted Peter’s head. “If Pops asks, I gave you a long and grueling lecture about people’s hearts and stuff like that.”

 

Peter let one end of this mouth perk up into a half smile and nodded. He felt a little guilty at lying about MJ and guilty about leading her on. Even though that didn’t make any sense, since he wasn’t leading her on in the first place. He did  _want_  to kiss her! His eyes narrowed and he waited until his Dad shut the door before making a beeline to his cell phone, which was now lying on the floor.

 

_You’re dead. – PP_

_I said I was sorry! – WW_

_You’re dad is creepy with technology. He would have known if your relationship status was still at single! – WW_

Peter knew that it was a legit thing to worry about. Everyone knew about Stark technologies and his Dad’s expert hacking techniques. It stopped being a secret when his Dad announced hacking into his son’s account on  _Peter’s_  status, online, warning everyone to be careful about what they say on the internet – ‘Your parents are just a phone call away’ – and to also keep from ‘swearing on Peter’s page’. He would bet anything that the swearing part was added for Pops’ sake. From then on, his profile page was as dead as a dessert and if anyone wanted to contact him, he’d just receive it by text.

 

But Wade should have given him  _some_ warning! So he could’ve told MJ before she started freaking out. But… well he wasn’t sure he would have if he had received a warning. Sure, he liked MJ and liked kissing her. But he wasn’t exactly ready to get all committed and in a lovey dovey relationship. He didn’t want to get tied down. Which is exactly what telling her beforehand would have meant.

 

Wade was still wrong though – he should’ve come up with a better lie. He didn’t let his anger ebb away.

 

_Look, I’m really sorry. I didn’t know you liked her so much! – WW_

And that was the fact of the matter. He didn’t like her  _that_ much. But he liked leaving Wade in the dark – thinking he was hurt and furious.

 

Serves him right anyway - even If he couldn’t remember for what exactly.

 

 

Turns out, leaving Wade in the dark was even more annoying than actually communicating with him. When his phone buzzed for the thirtieth time today, he finally picked it up to check the text messages.

 

All of them read:  _PETER!_

 

Lazy idiot. He probably just clicked resend over and over again.

 

_Shutup, Waffle – PP_

_Oh no. Not another form of torture. First you ignore me, then you move on to the dreaded waffle nickname. When will you ever forgive me? – WW_

_I’m thinking never. – PP_

_You’ll have to sometime, since we’re dating and all. – WW_

_Fake dating. There’s a difference. – PP_

_Yeah, no fun parts. ;) – WW_

_Peter? – WW_

_Still here. – PP_

_Just selectively ignoring now. – PP_

_Better than completely! – WW_

_Loser. – PP_

_Aw, I’m hurt really. – WW_

_You need a nickname too. – WW_

_Because we’re dating. – WW_

_Fake dating. – PP_

_Ah! I knew I’d get a reply for that! – WW_

Peter rolled his eyes and tried not to think about how complicated his life was going to be now. It would be like living a double life then I guess. Hannah Montana. Peter Montana. Ew. 

 


	2. You get the limo out front...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner at the Stark-Rogers

Sunday morning, Peter found himself helping his Dads make breakfast. Pops took over the egg making since Dad always burns them. Dad was busy toasting the bread and making coffee. And Peter was arranging the plates and utensils.

 

You get the best of both worlds! Chillin out take it slow – then you rock out the show! You get the bessssttttt ——-

 

Peter cut his inner monologue of song when he realized what he was singing. Freaking Wade. 

 

Once they were all seated at the table and stuffing their faces in, Peter started smiling, content again, and mindlessly singing the Hannah Montana theme song in his head.

 

“Watcha thinking about Peter?” Tony asked and gave Steve a furtive glance he didn’t think Peter noticed.

 

Peter shook his head, mouth full of scrambled eggs, “Nothing.”

 

Steve drank about half of his glass of orange juice before setting it down and also turning to look at Peter.

 

“What about that kid you asked out the other day?”

 

Peter swallowed his eggs down thickly. “Wha- what about him?” Have they figured it out already? He pictured himself cleaning eggshells off the floor for the rest of his life.

 

“What’s he like?” Tony offered also picking up his glass of orange juice to drink.

 

“Um…” Peter moved his eggs around with his fork. What was he supposed to say? What people normally said in these situations… which was what exactly? He thought about commenting on his looks but cringed at the thought of telling his Dads that Wade was hot or cute. He settled on the closest compliment he could give Wade without visibly wincing. “He’s… interesting.”

 

His Dads smiled and gave each other that look again.

 

“Why don’t you invite him over for dinner?” Steve asked going for the orange juice again.

 

“No.” Peter answered quickly before correcting, “I don’t think he’d feel comfortable coming over for dinner with the parents, Dad.”

 

“Don’t be paranoid Peter. It’s just dinner. And I think we reserve the right to meet whoever you’re dating.”

 

“Actually… we demand to meet him. “ Tony added to what Steve said with a crinkle in his eyes, meaning he was joking.

 

Peter sighed and wondered if maybe being punished for being out late would have been a lot easier and less torturous. He was met with the image of cleaning his own laundry and decided that no, it was considerably less torturous.

 

“Fine.” And he went back to eating his eggs and tried not to notice how Pops’ grin widened.

 

 

Peter didn’t like first period. The long and arduous class of history did not appeal to him and for the 450th time that year, he wished he could just skip class.

 

Mr. Strange droned on about World War 2, oblivious to Peter’s daydreaming.

 

At some point in the lecture, MJ raised her hand to ask a smart question and when Mr. Strange praised her for her ‘remarkable intelligence’ she turned around to shoot Peter an evil stare. Her posse seated next to her also followed with the stare.

 

Peter found that he couldn’t care less, until he felt something hit his head. He picked up the crinkled ball of paper indignant that they would stoop so low as to hit him with paper notes of hate. He found that it wasn’t in fact, from the evil circle of girls to his left but from a whole other kind of evil, namely, Wade Wilson.

 

y so serious - WW

 

He rolled his eyes and scoffed.

 

Mr. Kingston noticed that however, and turned his head to direct his attention to Peter. “Care to share what you’re laughing about, Mr. Stark-Rogers?”

 

Peter tried to push the note he’d just received under his book. “Sorry, sir. It was just something I remembered.”

 

Mr. Kingston raised an eyebrow and then went back to his droning. He could almost hear the faint sound of muffled laughing from where Wade was supposed to be sitting. He didn’t turn to check.

 

 

He went through the entire school day more or less avoiding Wade. His Dads weren’t following him at school and well… he was trying to avoid having to ask him over for dinner. That was, until he walked into gym class and found him frowning over his phone with a black eye.

 

“Wade!”

 

Wade looked up startled before smiling at Peter. “Hey! You’ve been avoiding me all day. Don’t think I haven’t noticed.”

 

Peter felt a little guilty at that statement. “What happened to your eye though?”

 

Wade looked at him confused before remembering and looking a little embarrassed. “I had a disagreement with a door.”

 

Peter shook his head amazed. “That was some disagreement.”

 

“Yeah well.” Wade said shrugging his shoulders. Then his lips formed into a smirk and he winked, “Gonna give me a kiss hello?”

 

Peter rolled his eyes even as he felt his cheeks flush. “I was gonna ask you something actually…” He scratched the back of his head as Wade gave him his full attention – evil smirk still in place.

 

“Well… it’s more about my Dads. See, they wanna meet you… so, come over for dinner tonight? I mean, I know you’d rather not b—“

 

“Sure!”

 

“I- okay.” Peter smiled and nodded, “Come over around six, yeah?”

 

“I can do that.” Wade said also nodding in reply.

 

“You really are a Waffle.” Peter said laughing.

 

Wade crinkled his face in response and said something along the line of what does that even mean. And then someone threw a basketball at them and the P.E. teacher yelled at them to join the rest of the class.

 

It could have gone worse. Peter thought, picking the ball up from the floor to join the class. He could have said no, and then I would’ve been stuck trying to explain that to my Dads. He didn’t make keeping the lie as hard as he thought he would and for that, he was grateful. But then again, he was the reason why he had such a big lie to uphold to everyone he knew – especially his own family.

 

Wade was hit in the head twice during the game. One of those times may have been Peter’s doing. He made sure to aim for the side where the black eye wasn’t located though. He wasn’t that much of a bully.

 

 

“Sorry Steve. I couldn’t even reheat a casserole right.” Tony said looking upset at the black mush that was steaming on the kitchen table.

 

Steve looked up from the book he was reading to smile at Tony. “And that’s why I made two.”

 

Tony fake gasped in response and put a hand to his chest. “I am hurt!”

 

“No. But what you are is a terrible cook.” Steve said getting up and round the table to put the second casserole in.

 

Tony shrugged in response, “Truer words have never been spoken.”

 

At that moment, Peter stumbled in, took one look at the burnt casserole and scrunched up his nose. “That’s not for dinner is it?”

 

“Don’t you like my cooking, Peter?” Dad asked innocently. 

 

“Pops.” Peter whined.

 

“No it’s not for dinner.” Pops assured him from his stance by the oven.

 

“Steve. I was having fun riling him up.” Tony said whining in the same way Peter did earlier.

 

“Normally, I’d just let you at it. But Peter’s worried about the dinner going smoothly. Someone special’s coming over.” Steve smirked and gave Tony a wink.

 

Tony smirked back and looked a blushing Peter. “What time is he coming over?”

 

“6.” Peter replied before walking back upstairs to his room. He wasn’t going to be in the kitchen any longer with his Dads’ weird looks. He hoped they’d be able to keep the winks in check during dinner.

 

 

At 5.59, the doorbell rang and Peter actually started feeling nervous. He shooed his parents out of the hallway before opening the front door. He didn’t want to feel obligated to give Wade a kiss because they were watching. Most of all, he didn’t want Wade to feel obligated because he was 70% sure he’d actually go with it. The kid had no shame.

 

“Hey.” He said feeling a goofy smile come over his face as Wade walked in with an actual sweater. “It’s not that cold outside.”

 

Wade shrugged smiling back at him, “I usually wear jumpers but I didn’t feel like that would be appropriate.”

 

“Wade, do you plan on talking at all tonight?” Peter asked raising an eyebrow.

 

“Well, yeah.” He answered confused.

 

“Then the sweater really wasn’t necessary.” Peter commented. They’ll probably be cringing in their seats before dinner would be served.

 

“Whatever, you have the biggest house in the neighborhood. I bet the mailman comes around with a sweater on just to deliver your mail.”

 

Peter laughed and shook his head. “Follow me.”

 

His parents were seated in the living room with the TV on. To Peter, it was obvious that they weren’t actually watching. Wade, on the other hand had a wide eyed look on his face at the sight of them sitting side by side on the couch with Steve’s arm draped over Tony’s shoulder.

 

Peter figured he never got the chance to meet anyone with two Dads before. But he also knew that Wade lost his mom when he was a kid and probably has never really seen parents in such a setting in a long while.

 

“Dads.” Peter started to say, clearing his throat. “This is Wade Wilson. He lives next door… and he’s my boyfriend.” He actually felt proud at himself for not cringing at that word.

 

“Nice to meet you.” Wade said nodding his head at them with a stiff smile. Peter felt sorry for him when both his Dads got up and Steve towered over him, so he put a hand on his shoulder. He felt Wade relax a little at the gesture.

 

“Nice to meet you too, Wade.” Steve said in reply shaking his hand and looking curiously at his black eye.

 

When it was Tony’s turn he also shook Wade’s hand then went, “What happened to your face kid?”

 

“He ran into a door.” Peter answered for him. Wade shrugged as if to say it was nothing. Peter liked seeing Wade at a loss of words.

 

Both his Dads raised their eyebrows at that and then Steve told him to be careful when he walked. Wade looked incredibly embarrassed.

 

Mid dinner, everything was going swell and then Tony started to ask questions again. “So what really happened to your eye?”

 

Wade chocked on his spoonful and Peter offered him his glass of water to swallow down.

 

“Dad he said it was a door.” Peter said annoyed.

 

“I know what he said.” Tony started, “ But we don’t tolerate lies around here so we’d appreciate it if you told us what actually happened.”

 

Wade actually looked like a mouse stuck in a rattrap.

 

Steve seemed to also take pity on him and tried to turn the conversation around by mentioning what was on the news that day. Tony was having none of it.

 

“That was interesting, Steve. But what’s a bigger mystery is what happened to your eye.” Tony said directing his gaze to Wade again.

 

Peter saw Wade’s fear seep out of him as quickly as it came and he smirked in reply, “You wanna know what really happened?”

 

It was Peter’s turn to look fearful and he tried to kick Wade under the table to tell him to shut up. His parents noticed though and that just made matters worse.

 

Wade put his fork down and went, “Well, Peter did it. He elbowed my face while I was giving him head.”

 

“Wade!” Peter yelled chastised.

 

Steve chocked and Tony spluttered.

 

“It hurt, but Peter didn’t want me to stop. So I kept going at it… maybe he—-“ And his mouth was covered by Peter’s hand. A very red equally embarrassed and angry Peter. He could choke Wade right now. If he were psychopath he would be cutting off Wade’s air supply.


	3. Hotest styles every shoe every color...

He couldn’t believe Wade said that!

 

In his disbelief and strong desire for Wade to shut up, he might have pushed him too hard. The resulting effect was that Peter landed on the casserole and Wade’s chair shook precariously before dumping the kid on the floor.

 

Everything was quiet while Peter felt the casserole squish under his shirt. And then Wade, head bent, starting shaking.

 

“Wade?” Peter asked, afraid that he was crying. “Are you okay?”

 

Wade lifted his head and he was laughing. Giggling manically so his face was a bright shade of red and his eyes filled with tears.

 

Tony sighed audibly - relieved that the kid he had wanted to strangle earlier wasn’t actually hurt.

 

Steve on the other hand, wasn’t satisfied by the laughing and bent down next to Wade to check if his laughing was a result of a concussion.

 

“I- ” Another giggle. “I’m fine. Thank you for having me over. I have to go home now.” And he got up, righted the chair that fell and then simply walked out of the front door.

 

Peter stared before realizing that he was still swimming in their dinner and lifted himself off of the table with a squelching noise.

 

“You weren’t kidding about him being interesting.” Tony said suddenly, then picked up his fork and continued eating.

 

Steve, who was by the floor, sat down on wooden ground and laughed - a loud amused laugh that had Tony responding in kind.

 

 

He knew that although the night ended with everyone laughing, it would probably end with him crying.

——

 

Sure enough, his Dads came up to his room, while he was browsing the Internet, to talk.

 

He knew from experience that if someone told you that they wanted to talk, instead of just jumping into it and talking, it wasn’t exactly a good sign.

 

“We understand that you’re not a kid anymore…”

 

“… That you have certain urges…”

 

“… And it may seem that you can’t control it…”

 

“… And it looks like you have a willing partner…”

 

“Looks?!”

 

“Shut up, Tony. Okay… You have a willing partner…”

 

“But sex is dangerous so don’t have it…”

 

“Tony!”

 

“What?”

 

“You may not get pregnant, Peter. But there are STDs to worry about and you may end up hurting yourself or your partner in the act…”

 

“The blasphemous act!”

 

“For goodness sake, Tony. This is serious.”

 

“Right.”

 

“So here’s a DVD we want you to watch… And it’ll help answer any questions you might have. And if you have any more, you can always ask us.”

 

“Don’t be shy to ask, we’re here for you.”

 

Peter groaned and put his head in his hand.

 

“Thanks, Dads.” He mumbled into his hands not willing to make eye contact. Thankfully, they left it at that and left the room.

 

After watching the scarring DVD, he picked up his phone to text Wade.

 

You have no idea how much I hate you right now. - PP

 

What for? - WW

 

You’re kidding right? I had to have the talk! - PP

 

Oops. - WW

 

oops?!? - PP

 

It’s not like they thought we were just holding hands! I’m sure they just used what I said as an excuse for the talk. - WW

 

that’s the thing! We don’t even hold hands! The talk was purely embarrassing with no silver lining of actually getting some. - PP

 

we don’t? We should get on that then. - WW

 

look, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to say it! It just happened. - WW

 

like your black eye? – PP

 

wade? – PP

 

waffle? - PP

 

Peter sighed. He figured he went too far mentioning the black eye. There was a reason why he was so secretive about it. Peter would bet anything that the “door” he ran into was probably one of the guys on the wrestling team at school. He felt a surge of anger at the thought of one of them punching Wade like that. If he finds out who it was, they’ll be sorry.

 

His stomach grumbled, effectively stopping his train of thought. He didn’t manage to eat enough food before the “incident”. He reached under the bed to pull up the huge bag of chips he had hidden underneath. Going back to his desk, he continued scrolling down the pictures of LOLSpiders while he stuffed his mouth with salty chips.

——

 

“Peter!” Harry called catching up with him and putting an arm around shoulder, basketball held in his other arm.

 

“Hey, Harry.”

 

“You missed practice this morning.” Harry said releasing his arm from around Peter’s shoulder. Then he laughed a little and said, “Flash said it was probably because you were busy with your boyfriend the night before.” He scratched his head then added, “Flash has a strange kind of humor doesn’t he? You don’t have a boyfriend.”

 

Peter stopped walking to face Harry angrily. This was typical Harry talk. He very well knew, as good as anybody else in the school with Internet, that he and Wade were involved now. But he could never ask like a normal person, he had to go round about it like he was completely oblivious. 

 

“Actually, I do.” Peter said tersely.

 

Harry widened his eyes in mock shock and then went, “I don’t remember you telling me that you do.”

 

“I didn’t. I posted it online so that I wouldn’t have to repeat myself.”

 

“I don’t count as someone who deserved to be told personally about those kind of things? Besides, what happened about MJ?” Harry asked, abandoning the idea of playing the nice guy.

 

“It didn’t work out – obviously.” Peter said, shrugging.

 

“But I thought you kissed her.” Harry interjected.

 

“I- wait, I didn’t tell you that!”

 

Harry had the sense to look sheepish. “MJ told me herself. She was kind of upset when she saw that you were getting involved with someone else. And not just anyone else, but Wade Weirdo Wilson.”

 

Peter bristled at the nickname Harry gave Wade. “Yeah well. That’s how it is now. Do you have a problem with that?” He knew very well how much of a bully Harry could get when he decided he didn’t like someone.

 

Harry raised his hands, “Whoa. I didn’t mean to wake up the overprotective beast.” He shook his head, “I don’t have a problem with you dating a guy. I don’t understand why it’s Wilson though. You used to make fun of him with the rest of us only last week.”

 

Peter didn’t know what he could say in reply to that. It was true after all, just last week he was scoffing at Wade’s inability to just exist as a normal entity. The only reason he was with him now was to get away from being punished. Technically, he was still using him for his own entertainment. Who was he to come down on Harry for acting the way he was when Peter wasn’t really acting any different.

 

Harry took his silence for anger, however, and started to apologize. Peter just waved the apology away and walked away, trying to get some alone time to go over his new system of twisted morals.

 

Flash walked up from behind Harry and pulled out the basketball from his arm. “Is he not gonna have lunch with us too?”

 

Harry turned to Flash with a frown, “Guess he’d rather spend time with Weirdo Wade.”

 

At that moment, Wade passed by singing something about rings and single ladies. Harry glared at the kid, who stuck his tongue out at him and continued with his singing.

 

Flash laughed by Harry’s side and commented, “Peter sure knows how to pick ‘em huh?”

 

Harry wasn’t satisfied though. He didn’t like the pairing and didn’t like that Wade seemed to be changing Peter already. He hoped that it was just Peter feeling sorry for Wade. He thought maybe he should let Wade know…

——

 

Peter found Wade in the elementary school playground, hanging upside down on one of the monkey bars. There was a little girl throwing pieces of her sandwich at him, it seemed like she was angry that he was occupying the monkey bars. Wade just smiled while he swung a little from side to side.

 

“Waffle.” Peter started, putting both hands on his hips. “What are you doing?”

 

Wade’s smile turned into a grin when he saw Peter and replied, “Just hanging.”

 

Peter laughed at the pun despite himself and walked up to pull Wade down.

 

Wade laughed as Peter tried to pull him down. He attested to the manhandling and let Peter help him upwards. The little girl nearby let out a little: “yay!”

 

“Look Wade —” Peter started before Wade put a hand on his shoulder and shook his head.

 

“I’m sorry about what I said at dinner. I understand that it was uncalled for. No matter how the situation may have appeared to me.” Wade said and then he bit his bottom lip and looked at Peter pleadingly.

 

Peter watched Wade bite his lip and then the rush of color that went to it when he pulled his teeth back.

 

“Yeah it was. But I came here to apologize to you. You didn’t answer my text last night and well, you usually bombard with me with texts until I turn my phone off.” Peter shrugged, “I guess what I’m saying is sorry, can I make it up to you? I mean, after all you’ve done for me…”

 

Wade looked a little shocked at receiving an apology. It seemed like he was going through an internal monologue before he smiled and nodded. “That’s okay. I mean… I guess you can make it up to me.” he lifted one side of his face to Peter.

 

Peter blushed at the implication, but figured that it couldn’t hurt. He leaned down and kissed Wade’s cheek.

 

A chorus of “ewww” surrounded them and the two boys started to blush incredibly.

 

“Come on, let’s get some lunch.” Peter said pulling Wade along. It was confirmed to him though, that Wade was crushing on him… And being the manipulative bastard that he was, somehow managed to get Peter to fake date him - that involved real kisses.

 

Wade Wilson.

 

He wasn’t sure how he felt about the situation at the moment. There wasn’t the feeling of wanting to push Wade away because of his discovery and so he decided that Wade’s crush would probably help the whole fake dating thing they had going on. And by the time Wade really got to know Peter, his crush would start to fade away and they might even become good friends. Wade was an interesting guy after all.


	4. You get the best of both worlds

Steve sighed and stretched upwards to pick up Mrs. McGee’s cat off a tree branch. He turned around to hand her the chubby cat.

 

“Thank you, Steve.” She picked up the cat from his arms. “You’re a darling. I thought I was going to lose my baby again!”

 

Steve held back an eye roll and smiled politely at the old lady. This was the third time this week that they’ve been called in to save her cat and while Steve liked to help people no matter the size of their trouble, he was starting to get a little worried that the cat saving might start to become part of their routine- and Mrs. McGee smiled at him funny.

 

“Done saving kitties, Steve?” Clint yelled from the truck. He put a hand up to his forehead to cover his eyes from the setting sun, “We were just called in – some building’s on fire.”

 

He shouldn’t have been relieved to hear that but he was glad that he could escape without having to seem rude. “Sorry, Mrs. McGee. Have to go do my job.”

 

“Of course you do, Hon.” She replied, and then winked at him.

 

Steve nodded and turned around. He gave Clint a look as he jogged quickly towards the truck. Clint just laughed in response.

 

———

 

It was P.E. class and Peter was glad. He wanted to get rid of the energy that was building up inside of him lately, and this was the one class he could get away with running around. He also missed the last basketball practice, so he needed the exercise.

 

After sprinting for a bit, he decided to slow down to a jog and then heard the sound of someone panting behind him. He moved a little to the right and soon enough, the ‘panter’ was jogging alongside him.

 

“Sup.” Wade breathed.

 

Peter smiled and half nodded, “Just runnin’.”

 

Wade opened his mouth to reply but was pushed aside by the hulking figure of Harry.

 

“You missed practice again.” Harry said, not bothering to apologize to Wade who was now jogging behind the two.

 

“I was busy.” He turned his face a little to see if Wade was okay. He was still red faced but he wasn’t panting as much as earlier. Peter guessed that Wade might have tried to catch up to his running.

 

“Practice is important.” Harry replied stubbornly.

 

Peter just rolled his eyes, “I know it’s important. I’ve got a lot on plate right now, what with school work and babysitting Wade.” He turned again to wink at Waffle and got a scrunched up nose in reply.

 

Instead of arguing with Peter further, he slowed down so that he was jogging alongside Wade.

 

“How does it feel like to be the reason Peter gets kicked off the team?” He said and smiled contradictorily.

 

Peter didn’t wait for Wade to reply and turned around sharply to face Harry. The three of them stopped suddenly in the lap.

 

“How would it feel like to be kicked in the groin?” He reiterated breathing it in Harry’s face.

 

Harry’s eyes widened and then he furrowed his eyebrows. “That’s what I get for trying to be a good friend?”

 

“All I see is a bully.” Peter bit back barely containing the shaking in his hands at the confrontation.

 

Harry laughed unkindly and took a step backwards. “Like you’re any better of a person.” He shook his head and pointed at Wade dismissively. “Everyone knows you’re only dating him out of pity.”

 

“That’s not true.” But Wade seemed to get bored of just hanging in the sidelines and faced Peter to argue that, “It’s not far from the truth.”

 

“Shut up, Wade.”

 

Harry laughed again, “You’re a hypocrite. But you always act as if you’re better than the rest of us.” He nodded as Peter started to shake his head, “Yes. You call me a bully and shut Wade up when he tries to speak up for himself. You let MJ think you’re into her and then break her heart. You’re part of a basketball team and you don’t seem to understand the concept of team.” He smiled sadly, “The least you could do is let Wade know how you really think of him. He knows that you’re the one that came up with ‘Weirdo Wade’ right?”

Peter could only stare back silently. It wasn’t as if anything Harry was saying wasn’t true. It was actually all true, 100% asshole and the main ingredient was Peter.

 

It seemed like Wade had heard enough at that point and went back to jogging. Harry raised an eyebrow at Peter before taking off too.

 

Wake up calls always came at the worst of times… Peter pursed his lips.

 

——

 

History class wasn’t the bore he’d come to get used to. He spent the entire time trying to catch Wade’s attention and texting him under the table. Wade wouldn’t even look up from the notebook he seemed to be drawing on.

 

“Most empires seem to grow almost unstoppably powerful before a sudden collapse. Then another empire takes over only to follow through with the same pattern… Does anyone smell that?”

 

Peter looked up from his cell phone to look at Mr. Strange questioningly. The entire class started to sniff around them.

 

“It smells like smoke.” Wade offered, finally looking up from his notebook. “Maybe it’s the chemistry lab next door?”

 

“Maybe.” Mr. Strange frowned and then turned around to check the many schedules pinned to the board. “There’s no chemistry class at this hour, however.”

 

Then suddenly one of MJ’s friends stood up and pointed at the door, “Look!” Large clouds of smoke started to enter the classroom from under the door. And then, as if they needed any warning, the fire alarm went off.

 

Most of the students started screaming, as they were drenched in water from the emergency showerheads.

 

“CALM DOWN!” Mr. Strange yelled, trying to get the attention of the wet now panicking mass of students.

 

Peter was still frozen at his desk and he could see Wade slipping on the wet floor from the corner of his eye. There was a gasp and then he turned in time to see him hit his head on the side of the desk before falling on a heap on the floor.

 

“WADE!” Oh God oh God.

 

 

“Clint.” Steve stood up straight from the passenger seat he was lounging on. “Clint, that’s the highschool my son goes to.”

 

“Shit.” The truck sped up and climbed over the grass. “Shit, I didn’t know it was a school. They just sent me the coordinates. I thought maybe one of the old factories caught fire again.”

 

“IT’S NOT AN OLD FACTORY CLINT MY SON IS IN THAT SCHOOL.”

 

“I know! Shit calm down. I’m trying.” The truck swerved dangerously to the right before coming to a full stop in front of the building. Other fire trucks were just arriving at the scene and the siren of an ambulance could be heard coming from down the road.

 

The moment the truck stopped moving; Steve moved to open the doors forcefully, grabbing his gear at the same time. He was halfway to the doors before he realized that he was about to walk into a burning building with a) with no plan and no backup fireman, and b) not wearing any of his gear but swinging it back and forth like just having it changed anything. He turned around to look for Clint and received a nod. Clint will help; he just needs to level his head before he did something stupid.

 

“Alright everybody! We need all the windows opened for safe evacuation. I just received intel that the hallways are not safe for anyone to cross through – but us of course. But even we have to be careful. We’re gonna be needed in the hall to check for anybody who passed out and to also check the bathrooms because there aren’t big enough windows to escape through in there.” Clint took a deep breath and when no one moved, Steve bellowed, “WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?”

 

Everyone jumped into action.

 

——

 

Peter bent down and called his name again but he seemed out for the count.

 

“Is that… blood?” Flash asked from over his shoulder. More screaming. Peter looked down to see red staining the puddles on the floor.

 

“EVERYONE PLEASE CALM DOWN!” Mr. Strange tried to open the door with his sleeve but pulled back when it was still too hot. “The firemen will be here any minute…”

 

“W-wade. You gotta wake up now.” Peter wanted to carry him but he also didn’t want to move him so much and cause any damage with his jostling. Where would he take him anyway?

 

“Mr.Strange! What about the windows?” MJ offered, in between screams.

The teacher shook his head, “The windows are too high up.” But then there was someone in a red outfit sticking his head through the window. “HEY!”

 

Peter looked up and was relieved to see Uncle Clint. He’ll help them, he’ll help Wade.

 

——

 

[Open your eyes you idiot.]

 

Shut up

 

 

[Can’t you hear yellow box?! There’s a fire.]

 

Headhurts

 

[Your head will hurt even more when you find out how it got hurt.]

 

 

[Maybe you shouldn’t wake up then. Saves you the humility if you’re burnt in a fire.]

 

 

[Wakey wakey Wadey Wadey.]

 

Wade’s eyes fluttered open to an empty smoke filled classroom. He could see something red at the edge of his vision. It flickered and asked for his hand.

 

“WADE!” He heard Peter yell and oh there’s his face and then his face was gone. “We can’t wait for extras any longer.” A hacking cough.

 

[I’m starting to regret thinking that setting a fire would be fun]

 

__

_“You’re right. If they’re not here by now… You, what’s your name? Harry? Help us carry him.” A strange voice answered._

_[Harry is going to help? Well, that’s a first.]_

_[Everyone knows he didn’t.]_

_[Well he didn’t, tell him.]_

_He went anyway. Isn’t that the same thing?_

_“What’s that, Waffle?” Peter’s face returned, he was looking really red._

_[Every time he says that I have this insatiable craving for iHOP]_

_iHOP sells waffles?_

_“He’s talking to himself.”_

_[Better watch out Wade. They’re gonna start calling you Mad Wade next.]_

_[You think you’re funny but you’re not.]_

_Shutup_

_“I’ll grab this end, you make sure you have that steady.”_

_“On the count of three.”_

_“1…2…”_

_Owwwwwww_

_“Shh, Wade. It’s okay. It’s gonna be okay.”_

_[On the count of three, he’s gonna black out.]_

_[You’d think he’d be used to it by now.]_

_1_

_2_

_…_

_—-_

_Peter swallowed thickly and looked back to where his Dads were standing in the room. “I didn’t think it was that bad.”_

_Wade was on the hospital bed. One of the first things they did when they admitted him was to strip him and put him in one of the hospital gowns. The moment that happened though, they put him on suicide watch for the night. He woke up sometime while Peter was asleep and they deemed that he wasn’t in fact trying to kill himself using the edge of a table and he managed to convince them that the scars were not of a suicidal nature._

_He wasn’t on suicide watch anymore but more nurses visited his room than anyone else’s._

_Steve cleared his throat. “Where are his parents?”_

_“His mom died when he was little and his Dad’s a drunk who’s not home most of the time…” Peter sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “How could he do all of that? And I didn’t even know.”_

_“Don’t kick yourself over it, Pete.” Tony spoke up from his stance behind Steve. “If someone really wants to hurt themselves there’s usually nothing any outside party can do about it.”_

_Steve’s face contorted and he put an arm around Tony to pull him close. Tony gave him a sad smile._

_They were quiet for a few moments and then Wade started to stir. His Dads excused themselves, “Let us know if you need us. We’ll be right out.”_

_Wade looked so tired. But his clear face was a stark contrast to his scar ridden body. Peter pulled up a chair to sit by Wade. He hesitated and then took his hand._

_Wade smiled and then licked at his dry lips. “Why’d you –“ He croaked and then coughed before starting again, “Why’d you hesitate?”_

_Peter shrugged, “I didn’t know if you were still mad at me.”_

_Wade frowned and seemed to be negotiating something in his head. Then his face cleared, “Doesn’t matter what any one says. I don’t think I could stay mad at you.” He smiled and then added, “It’s true. I do like it better the other way. When you’re mad at me.”_

_Peter let out a laugh. “That can be arranged.”_

_A pause and then, “So Harry came to visit by the way.”_

_“Yeah?”_

_“Yeah, he wanted to apologize for what he said at gym.”_

_“Your Dads are here.” Wade stated suddenly._

_“Uhh, yeah, they’re outside. You wanna see them?”_

_“No… I was just wondering if you still had to pretend to be my boyfriend?” Wade replied looking at the bed._

_“Yeah…” Peter tried to make eye contact but Wade was unwavering in his bed staring. “I was thinking about that while you were out. Which was quite sometime, I should add.”_

_Wade frowned and seemed to try his best to keep from pouting._

_“Hey, look at me.” He moved his hand to lift Wade’s chin up. His eyes looked troubled. “I was thinking—“_

_“That’s the spirit. You should think more often.” Wade offered._

_Peter pursed his lips and tried not to smile but failed, “I was thinking that there’s a simple solution to the whole sneaking around thing.”_

_“I don’t really like simple.”_

_“You’ll like this one.” And then he moved in to kiss Wade’s right cheek, then left cheek, and then down to his lips._

_“He kissed me!” Wade proclaimed suddenly._

_“Yeah, I- what? He?” Peter stammered confused._

_“They said you would never.”_

_“Who sa— mmmf.” Peter was suddenly attacked by an overly eager Wade, who was pulling him forward onto the hospital bed._

_—-_

_“FOR THE LAST TIME TONY, DON’T LEAVE YOUR UNDERWEAR ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR!” Steve exploded walking up to Tony, who was sitting on the living room couch to throw his underwear on his head._

_Peter chuckled from his place on the floor where he was working on his homework._

_Tony looked shocked, “Okay fine.” He continued typing at his phone, “Leave it on my head that’s better.”_

_Steve grumbled and walked away, before throwing a, “I’m not gonna live in a pigsty, Tony, “ over his shoulder._

_Tony was busy though and so just continued typing with the used underwear decorating his head._

_It was nice to have this simplicity again. No more double thinking, although he now doubted how much double thinking he was really having. Hannah Montana life or not, he was thankful to be back on track with his friends and basketball. He also thought it was funny how Wade tried out for the basketball team. Shockingly enough though, that had received a lot of support from Harry. Peter frowned, he better not like like Wade. He’d ask Flash for his opinion. But Wade was so cute in the uniform. Did he just call Wade cute? It’s happened. He’s screwed. Freaking Wade Wilson._

_He erased the last answer he wrote to fill it in with the correct one._

_There was one more thing bothering him in the back of his mind. He didn’t want to bring it up because it might be a little awkward but… what if he never brought it up?_

_“Dad…” Peter started, turning so that he was facing Tony._

_“What’s up, Pete?” He asked, eyes still on the screen of his phone._

_“Remember that day at the hospital when we were talking about Wade?”_

_“Uh, yes. Yes I do.” He slowed his typing._

_“It seemed like maybe you and Pops were having your own conversation about- well, hurting yourself. Did you?”_

_Tony paused in his typing and sighed, “I was hoping you wouldn’t catch up on that.”_

_Peter shrugged and set his pencil down on the notebook he was working on._

_Tony sighed and seemed to be collecting his thoughts before he said, “I may have had my fair share of self doubt and yes maybe an inkling of wanting to hurt myself.” He looked him in the eye, “But that was very stupid of me and you should never consider that as an option. Even in the worst of times. Okay?”_

_Peter shrugged, “To be honest, Dad, I wasn’t really considering it as an option. I was just worried if you still might be… hurting yourself I mean.”_

_A smile, “You don’t need to worry about that. Not while Pops is here.”_

_Peter narrowed his eyes, “You guys didn’t meet in the mall did you?” He thought of scenarios where Steve was the fireman who rescued Tony from a fire or from jumping off a tall building._

_Tony shrugged, “Nope.” Then he set his phone on his lap and turned a little to face Peter, “ Since we’re on the subject of truth… what was the whole pretend boyfriend thing Wade asked you about?”_

_Peter’s eyes widened, “You heard that?” Tony nodded._

_“Well,” A huff and then, “ It’s kind of a long story. “ Tony raised an eyebrow, “But don’t worry, Dad, it’s all good now.”_

_That seemed to satisfy him and he picked up his cell phone again to type._

_“Dad?” Peter picked up his pencil and started doodling on the side of his paper._

_“Yeah?”_

_“How did you and Pops really meet?”_

_“Ah!” He shook his head and the underwear slid to the couch. “It’s kind of a long story. But don’t worry, Peter, it’s all good now.”_

_“Touché.”_


End file.
